On "Day 6" of my presidency, the IRS will be instructed to modify the rules regarding 'Exemptions'. Beginning with the next fiscal year, schizophrenics will be no longer be limited to a single exemption. With the provision of notarized clinical documentation of their multiple personality disorder, they will be allowed to claim each of their personalities as a separate exemption on their federal tax returns. However, all personalities making more than $100,000/year will be subject to the Alternative Minimum Tax for Schizophrenics (AMTS).
Additionally, the Department of Justice (DOJ) will be instructed to modify the sentencing criteria used to punish convicted schizophrenics. For example, a schizophrenic with 3 personalities committing a $250 offense will be subject to a $750 fine.
Schizophrenics experiencing both male and female personalities WILL be allowed to marry themselves. However, Social Security Survivor Benefits will not be available to a surviving personality upon the death of the other personality.
Friday, May 9, 2008
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